The Life of a Nobody.....waitin to be a Somebody

A Lil Something

2011-01-07T03:55:00.000-08:00

Hey just stop, close your eyes for a second
Think about your family and friends and just listen
To what your heart says, think about all the days and all the different ways,
In which they made you happy and put a smile on your face always,
I know that you will appreciate, look deep down set aside all that hate
Construct a shade over your heart with something called love,
You know its beautiful equivalent to the grace of a dove,
Stop crying girl, its not the end of the world,
But you can't avoid it sometimes cuz life is filled with twists and twirls
When it gets hard, just look deep inside your heart,
Mum and dad are there for you always be beside
Its your new year's resolution isn,t it?
To stop crying? I hope you can see the true bright light shining :)

Its Been Too Long....

2009-09-08T21:54:00.000-07:00

U know what i feel absolutely terrible with eash passing minute of each and every day...for me it feels like time has stopped...permanently in a time of mental and emotional pain. No matter how hard i try to focus on the positives...i cant seem to shake off the feeling of hopelessness...

God help me...another 17 months left in the shithole....i feel that there's not enough oxygen around me...im suffocating...my work and environment has made me a less fun person...my world has turned dark on me..its like an eclipse tats gonna last for eternity...the only way for me to keep the moon from blocking the sun is to build a spacecraft-thingy or watever to get me up there and manually push it away back where it belongs...i know it sounds crazy...all i need is time cuz in 17 months time..the light is gonna ignite a dying flame under my heart...life as i know it will return.but until tat enriching..cant-wait-for-it moment....i gotta wait patiently under the slums of darkness and without me being detected by my enemies i have to build that spacecraft...

What the hell am i talking about...

I'm like a crewman who lost his captain....

2009-08-29T21:34:00.000-07:00

I lost my grandmother...i lost someone who truly guided me through stormy seas and treachrous times....I felt so weak when i lost her...she was an amazing woman even at her age she was so happy and so fit...that she could take part in a trialothon...oh man..im like a crewman who lost his captain...she truly had such a great impact and influence on me she taught me how to pray, how to stay strong in times of turmoil and confusion...and now she is gone..

Its so difficult for me to accept that she's been here with me through all these years and now she's gone...a job well done on earth thats the best way i can describe her deeds...now she is in heaven ready to serve the lord...and although she is not here anymore...i know she is praying for me and everyone of us...even if she doesnt know you....thats the kind of faith she had

That was what she was trying to teach me..i understand now...that this is truly where my journey begins..grandma..or amachi as i would call her..."I wont let u down"

I love you..

I hate my job!!! ah!!!!!

2009-08-21T03:22:00.000-07:00

I have been quite unhappy for the past few days...but i didnt really know why! hahahahaha....it was not until wednesday that i realised what made me unhappy was actaully my job!

I have absoulutely no life at the moment....going to work every other 2 days...working in an underground facility thts filled wit unbearable human stench....most of the guys locked up actually stay there for as long as up to 6 weeks...and they absoulutely stink!!!....wokring in humid conditions..i think i would be better off standing under the sun naked! wat makes me sick is havin to see the same accused almost everyday i go to work..and the same all white and green painted walls..sometimes i feel like as if im the one locked up 2!

As much as i love my squadmates back in HTA...i feel as if im no different than the people locked up in the facility im working in..its like NS is a 2 year jail term and if u try to escape u get charged and get a few more years in ur jail term...(AWOL)

Same consequences for the guys locked up isnt it??

Calling all MJ fans.....

2009-08-17T02:30:00.000-07:00

I have a few questions for all MJ fans...

Don't get me wrong..its not like i dont like MJ..but not one of those die hard fans of MJ...but i wanna get ur opinions on what makes him so popular??

1.) Why is MJ so popular?
2.) Is known best for his singing or dancing?
3.) Do u think he would have been less popular if he hadnt had the surgery tat made him white?

Juz curious..tats all! :)

I need ur help people!!

2009-08-09T23:39:00.000-07:00

I believe that rap can flow wit music of any genre...but of course all of those fusions wouldnt sound so good...but some do..do u have any idea what would? i mean have u ever wondered, hmm...if there was a rap on this piece of music..it would be great!...

Well if u have any ideas pls do tell me...cuz i wanna attract more and more people who are fans of different music to start listening to rap....

If u have anything pls share...

Lord teach me to pray....

2009-08-09T21:39:00.000-07:00

A letter to god...

Lord pls forgive me for my selfishness....i realise that i pray to you only when i have a problem or in a dillema..i ask for faith, strength and wisdom...but on the good days that i had...i never prayed..i never thanked you for the great day u have given me....

Lord pls teach me to pray....pls help me to serve the church as a faithful christian brother to the people and a faithful son of yours....

Lord pls show me the way...and help me stay strong!

Johnson

Memories...

2009-08-06T05:23:00.000-07:00

Im starting to feel the effects of missing my squad again...i really love my bunkmates especially..:)

There are altogether 10 guys in my bunk and they rock!!

Zhambrie: Juz thinking about the times i spent wit zhambrie...juz brings me laughter!! i dont know why...but for some reason..... we love disturbing each other..i in particular love to disturb him lolz..dont ask me y?? i dont know!! There were alot of times where we stepped on each others boots after spending alot of hardwork polishing it!! kinda stupid isnt it...but it didnt really feel stupid at that time..but it does now after thinkin about it!! The most memorable ones were when i always told him he was gonna be an staff assistant and he would tell me i would be a NPCO after i pass out frm our basic training...

Well nobody likes NPCO cuz if u get it..u gotta stay in camp for another 3 months! and that reallly sucks...and nobody likes Staff assitance jobs...i dont have to explain why do i??

COnincidently, in the end he got posted into NPCO!! hahaha looks like i cursed him lolz! but i ended up as a lock up officer...

Crazy as it is im juz happy to know that he is happy being an NPCO...9it wasnt as bad as he thought it would be) as for me im nervous about my job....taking care of prisoners is not exactly a comfortable job is it....im officially starting 2mr..well i hope its gonna be a good start!! wish me luck now :)

Sentosa Trip!!

2009-08-02T05:57:00.000-07:00

the past week was a total waste of my life!

Usually if u go to class u gain knowledge...but im pretty sure that going to my vocational training caused me to lose knowledge...yeah thats what happens when u stone urself and keep sleepin in class from 8 to 5pm everyday....nothing is going in my head...cuz nothing freakin made sense!!

I needed a deserved break i guess...really had fun wit my NS frens. We went to sentosa yesterday apart from the sunburns and pulled hamstrings....i had good fun! :)

Starting Work 2mr....

2009-08-01T19:32:00.000-07:00

Well i guess this is it...i guess i have been given one of those few jobs that really really demands a huge deal of resposibility and if i dont do my job properly...well lets juz say that..wanted criminals...murders and rapists will be out on the streets...I honestly didnt like this job i was hopin to get a more adventurous job u know....like being out in the streets and being called to action but instead ill be in the lock up facility for the next year and 5 months...i jus hope i can learn something from this experience by the end of the day...

First day of vocation..BORING!!

2009-07-27T05:29:00.000-07:00

The first day of my vocational training was everything i thought it would be...boring..long..weird and comeplety dry in every way!

The lesson was frm 9 to 5 and basically we were taught on how to handle prisoners and stuff...the guidelines and rules and shit like that u know....and the more therotical part of things...

Man words cant describe how boring it was yo!! I found myself drifting away all the time and even if i try to keep reminding myself to stay focussed and listen to the lecture..the most i could concentrate was for a minute!! and after that i start to drift away again....OMG, i have a test coming up next week and i have to pass if i wanna an extra 150 bucks of allowance!

I have to somehow concentrate and write more notes man!!

Finally Freedom!!!! JYEAH!!

2009-07-24T21:09:00.000-07:00

After having successfully completed my training in the police academy i have been finally been given a life to get back to!! No more isolation from the digital world!!YEAH!! Now i have been posted to be a escorting officer for criminals! sounds cool huh? but the most awesome part is my job is frm 8 to 5pm every weekday...i can finally focus on my music!! HELL YEAH!

Squad Shirt was a disaster!!!

2009-07-23T07:40:00.000-07:00

I cant believe anyone who could have possibly fucked up printing a shirt so bad....that anyone taking a first look at would puke!! I mean after all, all they had to do was print...and they still couldnt do it!! I mean isnt that what u guys are getting paid to do?? 18 bucks...thats the cost of each shirt man! and u produce butt ugly quality stuff..naa i cant accept this...

I got really upset man i juz felt my skull pressing against against my brain and giving me such incredible pain...so i called her up saying that i want the shirts reprinted..cuz this is not what i asked for and none of changes i told u to make were not made...then why the hell did i waste my breath explaining all the details to u so clearly when u didnt even listen??

So she said..ok we take the blame its our fault...so we are prepared to make up for it. We will reprint all the 42 shirts again at $7 each....And i was like, R U SERIOUS?? u gotta be kidding paying extra 7 bucks on top of the already paid $18..HELL NO!!! Im not gonna pay 7 bucks for shitty quality and service...SO for the first time in my life i bargained my ass off and managed to bring down the price all the way down to $2.50 each!!!

Now here comes the awesome part.....i told all of this to my Squad leader and she was juz amazing!! she said ok ill pay $1.50 for each of u guys so all u have to come up wit is $1!!!

I was so freakin happy!!! and my lesson learnt is this time ill demand to see a sample....

Whats ur idea of an adventure??

2009-07-18T04:22:00.000-07:00

Half the time i spent in NS so far i have been thinkin about a dream vacation!!....Just typing it makes me feel all so excited and the sense of anxiety just gets to me so quickly..ahhhh!!!!

But the most screwed up thing is..i have to wait for another year and 6 months before i can actually go on a vacation....

Now my idea of a vacation is....hiking..water sports...climbing and bascially do anything or meet anyone or even anything thats has adventure written ALL OVRER IT!!

Hmmmm....as im thinkin about it..i dont know what place on earth could give me all that...so any ideas people???

Europe?? Africa Asia??? Where??

10 Things I Really Wanna Be Better ON...

2009-07-17T21:49:00.000-07:00

I wanna be to be more confident....
I wanna be a more fun person to hang out with.....
I wanna be a better communicator not in just writing but in speaking as well....
I wanna be more open to talk to new people........
I wanna be more adventurous..........
I wanna try new things without be afraid......
I wanna to be a more positive and faithful person....
I wanna be more trustworthy towards my friends and family....
I wanna be more compassionate.....
I wanna be better as a musicaian, an engineer and a rap artist....

No POP for me!! just a normal POC!!

2009-07-17T07:00:00.000-07:00

I cant believe it...i must be from one of the few handpicked batches to be the extremely luckiest....but u know what they say..everyday is not sunday..and thats exactly what happened here!!

Man i also happened to pass out at a really screwed up time..stupid swine flu!! because of this i cant have a parade...parents cant see me march down in the stadium...no pride..no glory no shit!! Instead all we have now is a ceremony thats happening in a small ass auditoruim thats gonna hold about 260 people! and no one other than us is gonna know that this ceremony going on..what pride is involved after passing out at the end of 3 months that cosisted of endless drills and practices??? Thanks swine flu...u may have brought me fortune but u screwed me up pretty badly 2!!!

Lyrics to the thing that came from somewhere...

2009-07-09T23:49:00.000-07:00

Hey check this out this is the lyrics i wrote so far for the song i was telling u about......its not done yet and ill definetly make a few changes...or maybe alot of changes...hehe...well the whole idea is to get it smooth and flowing together with the music....well here it is...

Verse 1:
Listen to the beautiful sounds that surround you...
And take you to a place where u see heaven around u....
As we look back at all the good and bad times, of our good and mad lives...
We recognise the good times and sweep aside the bad....
Cuz we don't wanna be sad, we wanna be glad...
Let's capture the moment of true joy, when we young still playin with toys...
It's inspiration, that gets our hearts racing and passion growing...
Overwhelwing, encouraging the mind to take action...
Having fun, enjoying, relaxing...
No stress, no pain, no suffering, Just imagine...
What life would be without all these things, it just helps you see....
Clearly, think of the possibilities when ur mind's free...

To be Continued..!!!

The thing that came from somewhere....

2009-07-08T01:51:00.000-07:00

Today....i first thing i felt in the morning when i woke up was a burning sensation thru my brain but of course it wasnt because i was sick or anything but i felt really....what's the word im looking for..? Obliged! yeah thats the one ot put my words and ideas into action..sounds interesting rite?

Well i always had the idea of fusioning rap with something more subtle..something a little more warm and a music genre that can attract a wide rang of people not just restrictd to certain people...i mean why make music to attract a certain group of people when u can attract EVERYONE?? makes sense rite??

SO i thought that rock music is ever so popular back in the 60s and has been growing in popularity ever since...its the same with acoustic or new age music rite??

So this is what i did....are u familiar with andy mckee?? well if ur not check him out in youtube...he's an absolutely amazing acoustic guitarist..so anyway i downloaded on of his songs called...the thing that came from somewhere which is also the title of his album.

I downloaded the song and i actually tried to write a rap to it! i know its crazy and its cheating but i juz wanted to try it out..juz to see how it went...weell..it actually turned out to be pretty good!! cool huh?

The Life of a Nobody.....waitin to be a Somebody: Combining Piano ROck with Rap??

2009-07-06T23:37:00.000-07:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4chI_NN-nco

Combining Piano ROck with Rap??

2009-07-06T23:04:00.000-07:00

Im a huge fan of music...music in general although i have a very special love for rap music. However, i find that alot of people find that rap is offensive and often very degratory in many ways..well thats not good!! i guess its depends on the type of rap artists u listen to...mainly i hate rappers who talk about how rich they are....about their expensive cars and...their girls and stuff like that. But unfortunately is these rappers that end up being more popular!

Thats crazy aint it?? i often look for the more deep poetical messages that are being delivered in songs....thats how i really appreciate music!

Anyway i really fell in love with the fray...i think their music is quite amazing actually and the type of music they play is called piano rock....its a whole new genre by itself and it really captured my emotions that i generally had for music! so i had this idea of combining piano rock with rap and see what happens!! i know its hard but im planning to give it a try real soon....

its kinda like what Run DMC did...combining rock with rap..

Tell me what u think about my idea...!

What earphones should i buy??? Senheisser CX500's??

2009-07-06T03:53:00.000-07:00

Hey im havin a dilemma as alwayss...i really want a new pair of earphones badly to replace my busted ass ipod earphones which cant sit in my freakin ears..u know how it feels to walk around and having to put ur earphones back into ur ears every 10 seconds??! Its freaking irritating man! I tell to it will make u absolutely go crazy and what's worse...i just realised that the left earpiece is generally softer compared to the right...so that was it! thats the last straw..i couldnt take it anymore..im a sound engineer and i know i deserve better!! so i set out into the wonderful world of cyberspace looking...prayin to find a pair of earphones that fits the bill and fulfills my hunger and expectations....after searching and digging up in countless number of forums i ended up falling in love with senheisser CX500!!

I guess what really attracted me to this beauty was of course its appearance...no just kidding lol! i felt it was a pair of earphones that would sound nice if i were to haer music thru them! that was completely based on an assumption..i could be hopelessly wrong but then again i could be rite 2! If u have anything anythg to say at all about this earphones or any others that are just awesome but fit within my budget of 200bucks pls ur more than welcoem to share!!

I Can't Wait!!!My Mood Swingssss!! Pros and Cons of NS

2009-07-05T01:00:00.000-07:00

Its really..really...REALLY...been a long time now since i touched my keyboard...the last time i checked i was practicing the g scale. Ok very funny..i know ur thinkin im a noob right now and unfortunately ur 100% right about that! I was taking keyboard lessons since july last year and it was really fun while it lasted..i remember i would spent alot of time practicing what i learnt for the week....ill tell u if ray charles saw me he would be proud!

But of course proud as in not in how i played....cuz i sucked but..... my effort on the other hand was commendable. So here i was slowly progressing and learning and then i received the LETTER!!!!!!! The letter that closed the door on my dreams and aspirations........only temporarily..thank goodnesss....

It was from the government i mean who else could bring u bad news almost on a daily basis? They said its time for me to do my duty for my country.....so i was told to report to this particular place in which i would spent my next 3 months in...

Well the awesome thing is that....my 3 months is gonna be up in 2 weeks time and im excitedly looking forward to getting my life back! But i guessed the most screwed up thing about everything is that...damn i was actually in the middle of something....learning somethg and this thing just pops up and takes over ur life like its god or somethg...

But of course it was not always bad...i had a great time in NS... now all i have left is 1 year 7 months...ill be posted out somewhere working as a full time police officer but ill have more time focussing on my other...clearly more IMPORTANT commitments in the future!

Squad 17 Shirt Design!!

2009-07-04T22:07:00.001-07:00

Creating this design for my squad was a great achievement for me...I never really thought i had thing for art but i guess i could be wrong!!

I guess the most honourable mentions were the fact that the lion's head on the top is actually a 3D image i got off the internet....so i basically brought it into photoshop and turned it into a wolverine lookalike!

NS Life!!!

2009-07-02T19:56:00.000-07:00

NS...stands for National Service and for those who dont know what it is.....basically it means that the government literally forces you to join the army, navy, police force or the civil defence force and theres nothing u can do about it....i mean isnt it sad? just imagine urself doing absolutely great in life...u just finished college and u got ur diploma and just when u wanna take a break before pursuing ur degree...BLAM! this stupid NS comes into the picture..thats not cool man! U see the only reason why all men above 18 are forced to go NS is because like i mentioned earlier singapore is smaller than a dot....it has a population of 5 million and is only 274 sq miles...its the smallest country in southeast asia...well anyway what im trying to say is because of this pathetic stats we need all the firepower we can get...thats why its compulsory for all of the unlucky guys here to serve their country...Boring! just imagine we are currently at 5 million rite? what if NS was not compulsory? we would be lucky to get even 500!

Well anyway...in a nutshell, Ns has its ups and downs and in fact it turned out to be one of the greatest things that ever happened in my life!! Its just one of those things u know u really dont wanna do cuz u either hate it so much or u feel its a complete waaste of time..but still someone forces u to do it...but so very surprisingly u realise that u learnt so much and had fun so much that if u didnt do it and chose to continuee ur life as for normal....u wouldnt feel as happy! trust me on this i learnt that we learn life's lessons this way this is what makes us better people and whats so funny is....we never ever!!thought that this would work out but it somehow did!

If the government gave me a choice of whether i should go to NS or continue life as i know it...i would definitely choose not to go and i would probably not have met my awesome friends in the picture above....I am really grateful to these guys...they really help mould my character into someone i dreamt of being...a very open, optimistic and happy person. Although they dont know it from the bottom of my heart i consider them angels sent to me from the almighty god above..

U know whats really funny? On the first day of my enlistment(thats what they call the first day of NS) when i actually met these guys i honestly felt so dissapointed that i was chosen to be with them as a squad.....my first impression was they arent my type at all to me they looked like people who just dont care about life or they just dont care about anything! but boy was i wrong. I learnt that judging people by their appearance is a huge mistake to say whether they are good or bad people....its what lies deep within them that makes each person who he or she is really is....I also realised after talking to them more and more how truly fortunate i really am. To live with great parents brother and grandmother and to have an undisrupted education....and also im a little guilty to admit that i livve in a SLIGHTY big house...

People often get the wrong idea about uneducated people...they say that, "oh he's not doing well in life cuz he didnt study hard enough and look where he ended now" and they tell their kids, "honey look at that guy cleaning the toilets..thats what happens to u when u dont study hard" But i dont blame people for saying this.... all i can say is this is not always the case...there's always another side to the story...To be continued....

But i just thank god for the great life he's given me so far.....we are truly blessed arent we?